Monday, January 30, 2012

Stop bugging me uterus!

This is the conversation I have with my uterus every time I see a baby. 

Uterus: BABIES!  Babies, babies, babies!  Angela!  ANGELA!  Look!  There's a baby!  WHERE IS OUR BABIES?!?!! 

Me: We've been over this, Uterus.  It's not time for babies yet. 


Me: We need to wait a few more years. 

Uterus: What are you talking about?  You're 25 years old and you have a boyfriend (a fiance no less).  Now make some damn babies!

Me: We can't support a child right now, Uterus. 

Uterus: But poor people have babies all the time!  Stop your logical thinking and give me a baby right now!

Me: NO UTERUS!  BAD UTERUS!  Leave me alone!  I have spoken! 

Uterus:  hate you....  *bleeds furiously in protest*

Also it doesn't help that every time John sees a cute little girl he says "awww.... I want one."  I think they're in on it together. 

Saturday, January 28, 2012


She thinks that because she's white I can't see her.  I CAN TOTALLY SEE YOU OLIVE!  IT'S SUPER OBVIOUS WHERE YOU ARE!  Also, why do you look intoxicated?  Have you been sneaking into my chocolate wine?  DON'T YOU KNOW CHOCOLATE IS BAD FOR CATS?!!! 

Olive sleeping on a bag

You're failing at this, kitten!  I can see where you are.  It's so obvious.  Almost too obvious.  Almost like she's not even there....

I just previewed this post and there's a huge space at the top.  I'm not sure why it's there.  I don't really care to fix it either.  I totally could if I wanted to cause I'm super tech savvy but I'm not gonna. 

UPDATE:  Apparently this is a point of confusion.  There's no actual cat in the second picture.  It's an empty bag.  

Thursday, January 19, 2012


Winter vacation is quickly coming to an end and I thought (with a nudge from Ms. Riedelsperger) that I should blog about a few recent events before I get swept up in the tumult of Spring semester.  But first, kitten!

No blog, Mommy!  Pets!

How can I say no to that face?  Those big adorable eyes almost make me forget that she's a dirty traitor who loves John more than she loves me even though I'm the cat person in this family.  Almost.  So I pushed her aside and started blogging.  Then I felt bad and gave her a kitten treat.  Then she bit me.  I totally just made all of that up but that's exactly how it would have gone down if she were sitting on my computer. 

So over break I went with my mom and Crystal to a bridal show.  In the beginning they gave me a sticker that said "Bride" so that all the vendors at cal expo could pin point exactly who to harass in the mass of people even  though the sole purpose of going to the bridal show is to look at venders and decide if you want their services.  Although, at the end of the day, it would seem that our sole purpose was free cake samples.  I really have no intention of utilizing a professional cake service because I want to get married, not go into debt for 20 years. 

That's one thing I don't understand about weddings.  I get that it's a special day, but why do people spend so much money on them?  I mean, it seems like the last thing you would want to do is start off a new, fragile marriage with financial strain.  It's hard enough budgeting our money without a looming $10,000 party to pay for.  That would make me more miserable than excited about my wedding.  I wouldn't even enjoy walking down the aisle because the whole time I'd be thinking "I can't believe we wasted so much money on one day". 

If you're offended because you weren't invited, don't fret.  We haven't sent out invitations yet.  The only people who have been invited so far are the bridesmaids.