Sunday, May 15, 2011

Angela: Grad Student

I found out in the middle of last week that I have been accepted into the graduate program of Liberal Arts at Sacramento State.  Now I am officially a graduate student.  After 2 years of aimless wandering and half made decisions, I feel like my career is moving forward again.  It feels really good knowing that someday I will have a degree that actually means something in the world of employment.  On top of that, I also have a very promising job prospect (for right now). 

Sometimes I feel like God's just messing with me.  Every once in a while he looks down at me and says "Is she sufficiently panicked yet?" and if I'm not, he waits a couple months and then checks on me again.  This time he looked down and saw me freaking out and decided to throw me a bone.  He has decided that I have panicked about my future enough. 

Perhaps I just worry too much about my future.  I think I'm learning how to be less worried though.  I just remind myself that, no matter how uncertain things may seem at the time, my basic needs will always be met.  Also things just seem to work out for me.  I'm not sure how it works, but I always find myself in new and exciting places.  I'm happy with where things are going. 

All that being said, I'm also pretty terrified about actually attending grad school.  I have to write a 50-75 page minimum thesis paper.  On a side note, how can there be a minimum range?  Wouldn't it just be 50 pages minimum?  Or does that mean I will get skinned alive if I go over 75 pages?  Either way, that's a long paper to write.  Of course, I'll have plenty of time to write it.  I guess this is exactly the same as the time I was terrified of beginning college.... and the time I was terrified of beginning high school and middle school.  Perhaps a certain amount of fear is needed to ensure success.  In high school, I was so terrified of failing my first Algebra class and I ended up receiving an award for algebraic excellence. 

In conclusion, I believe I am sufficiently afraid enough to begin grad school.  Also this post took forever.  I'm not sure why. 


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