Friday, March 18, 2011

Day Ten: Paranoia

"Then I realized that I was sitting in a Safeway parking lot, consumed by anxiety over whether some fictional being that grants wishes was going to screw me out of my wish through a technical loophole involving death, brain damage or prolonged unconsciousness.  It made me feel slightly uncomfortable that I'm the person making all the decisions about my life." -Hyperbole and a half, shooting star. 


I read this quote from a blog I frequent ( http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com ) and it just really spoke to me.  I don't know about everyone else, but it is really scary to me that I'm the one making the decisions in my life.  While I realized there are many things that are beyond my control, it's kind of scary the amount of things I do have control over and the amount of ways I could potentially screw them up.  


I'm actually almost completely shocked at how well things are turning out so far.  I mean, I flew 2/3rds of the way across this country to attend a college I had never visited, away from everything and everyone I had ever known.  That could have been a complete disaster.  The school could have been horrible, the people could have been mean, and I may have given up on college altogether.  But it was amazing and I came out a better person.  


Also, like the author of this quote, I often feel extremely paranoid about things.  I never allow paranoia to affect my behavior, but it seems like every time someone in my life acts a little weird, there's some epic scenario that pops into my head about what they could possibly be up to.  I'm too embarrassed to actually list them here.  


I'd like to say thank you to the author of this quote for making my craziness seem a little more normal.  


Also I'd like to thank John for keeping me honest... again.  I love you.  


Angela

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