This journey began as a simple stroll around campus but, from the very beginning, tremendous mischief began to take hold. It began in Ganton Circle where there is a statue of Jesus washing the feet of... someone biblical. Perhaps it was John. Anyway, Brandon (pictured left) decided Jesus needed to be presented with the 'awkward stick'. I should probably explain the purpose of an awkward stick so that you might understand the extent of his blasphemy.
We had certain rules at Greenville governing the behavior of the students. Some of those rules were directly related to the actions of students in relationships. The enforcers of the rules or "RC's", would patrol the dorms around the same time every night. Now, for some reason, someone thought it would be a good idea to carry around a long, stick like object called the "awkward stick" that they could present to couples spending time together if the RC felt like they were close to breaking any rules. It wasn't a violation, per say, it was just a friendly reminder that they shouldn't be getting any closer than they already were. Now, someone eventually realized how stupid this concept was and it was put to an end, but before that time, it was a colossal annoyance to Brandon Runyon (with him having a girlfriend).
So, Brandon presented Jesus with said "awkward stick" for washing an apostles feet. We now have proof of his blasphemy.
This epic journey shall be concluded tomorrow.