Thursday, April 14, 2011

Day Thirtyseven: Cheap Candy

You know when I eat a piece of high quality chocolate from somewhere like Godiva, I feel satisfied, fulfilled even.  But when I eat two pieces of Milk Duds, even though the Carmel stuck my teeth together and made me tired from chewing, I have the sudden urge to eat an entire box.  Cheap candy is the devil and I am now convinced that they add some super addictive ingredient that assures you will never cease eating them.  They're just as bad as big tobacco. 

It is self aware

Speaking of which, I don't think big tobacco is as bad as everyone seems to think they are.  I mean, the media makes it sound like they eat babies for breakfast, pregnant babies that they abort right before they eat them.  But really, how much worse are they than every other company out there?  The only difference is their product kills people with cancer instead of obesity, lead poisoning, and soul-crushing dependence. 

However, candy is what I'm concerned about right now.  To further prove my point, since beginning this post, I have eaten one milk dud and anywhere from 8-15 pieces of frozen mini-charleston chews (delicious!).  The milk dud was an extra that didn't fit in with the spelling scheme that the pieces arranged themselves in when I dumped them out of the box.  They did it completely on their own with absolutely no help from me.  I know it's creepy. 

That box of charleston chews is going to be empty by 9 o'clock.  Mmmmm. 


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