Today John and I were taking our somewhat daily walk around the park when we came across an obvious Angela Trap. We were strolling down the sidewalk and I was going on about some topic and in the very middle of my sentence, without even pausing to indicate a subject change, I said "Oh my god, there's a kitty." Naturally, me being me and all, I walked over to the cat who was lying underneath a tree and rolling in the dirt with the 'pet me I'm cute' look on her face, and I slowly inched my way up to the cat and began petting her. She was a dark calico cat with no visible deformities or ailments who was very friendly and non-bitey.
As I was explaining to John later, I don't understand why cats roll around in the dirt when they want pets. It's like they're saying "Oh my gosh, look how cute I am, don't you want to pet me? Oh wait, wait! Before you touch me, let me just coat my fur with some dirt and twigs and pebbles and whatever else happens to be lying on the ground." Of course, me being a giant sucker for cats, this does not deter me at all.
Anyway, I'm petting the cat, and while I'm doing so, I am CERTAIN there were people waiting to attack me from somewhere close by. They are probably the same people who drive the rape van, or least someone associated with them. They were hiding in the park, waiting for me to see the cat so that they could make their move. However, they did not emerge from their hiding place. They were probably looking through their binoculars and just as they were about to attack, one of them noticed John and turned to the other one and said "Oh no, She brought her bodyguard with her today! Abort mission!" and they packed all their stuff into the van and left.
So I got to pet the kitty in peace even though it was obviously a trap set up just for me. This is why it is advantageous to have a boyfriend who is 6'8". I'm just glad that they decided to set up the cat trap on one of the days he was with me because sometimes he leaves me to fend for myself (usually when he's at school).
Angela
As I was explaining to John later, I don't understand why cats roll around in the dirt when they want pets. It's like they're saying "Oh my gosh, look how cute I am, don't you want to pet me? Oh wait, wait! Before you touch me, let me just coat my fur with some dirt and twigs and pebbles and whatever else happens to be lying on the ground." Of course, me being a giant sucker for cats, this does not deter me at all.
Anyway, I'm petting the cat, and while I'm doing so, I am CERTAIN there were people waiting to attack me from somewhere close by. They are probably the same people who drive the rape van, or least someone associated with them. They were hiding in the park, waiting for me to see the cat so that they could make their move. However, they did not emerge from their hiding place. They were probably looking through their binoculars and just as they were about to attack, one of them noticed John and turned to the other one and said "Oh no, She brought her bodyguard with her today! Abort mission!" and they packed all their stuff into the van and left.
So I got to pet the kitty in peace even though it was obviously a trap set up just for me. This is why it is advantageous to have a boyfriend who is 6'8". I'm just glad that they decided to set up the cat trap on one of the days he was with me because sometimes he leaves me to fend for myself (usually when he's at school).
Angela
No comments:
Post a Comment